Love Life Friday- Finding Love in 5 Steps

Here are the big 5 which, I believe, are absolutely
necessary to finding your love this year:

You can probably guess what your best accessory is, can’t
you ?  It is your smile – a smile is
non-optional equipment in finding love. 
It communicates that you are friendly and approachable and probably
caring and happy.  These are traits that
give you draw and are highly desired in a mate.

You don’t smile ? 
That’s no excuse – start now to practice on furniture, then small furry
animals and work your way up to adults and members of the gender you wish to
attract.

Know that anger plays no part in love.  I am not talking about healthy anger which is
a warning signal letting you know when to back off or speak up.  And I’m not only talking about shouting or
hitting – derisive and demeaning remarks also count.  Speaking up for yourself can and should be
stated in a calm, level voice.  This has
the double advantage of not begetting more anger and being imminently more
effective.

Anger shows up at the beginning – if your date is very nice
to you but he is all but foaming at the mouth with road rage or being rude to
the waiter or others around you, do be warned – I guarantee you will be the
target down the road.

TIP:  Character assassination is not foreplay

If you have anger, get rid of it before your anger chases
away healthy men who might otherwise be attracted. This topic is perhaps best
summed up by a country western song title – “It’s hard to kiss the lips at night that chewed your ass all day
long”.

Get good at handling rejection.  And if rejection has never happened to you,
then you aren’t trying hard enough.

Hasn’t almost everyone been dumped before ?  It could be true heartbreak. Or it could be a
small rejection: you thought you had a keeper on date one and then he
disappeared into lost boy land.

Here is the shirt you need to wear: “ GOT DUMPED “ on the front and on the back: “ GOT LUCKY “.  The great thing
about being rejected is he knew before you did that you were wrong for each
other and saved you time.  He rescued you
from the #1 love block – wasting time. 
And haven’t you looked back on a rejection and thought thank you for
releasing me because I would not take you back for anything ? Say “thank you”
to him.  He deserves your gratitude.

Man’s rejection may be God’s protection.  You needed an upgrade but weren’t  willing or able to make it.

Another way of mishandling rejection is not being able to
quit.  Hasn’t everyone worn this t-shirt
also.  The shirt that reads “  Jumped
in too quickly and stayed too long “ on the front and “ Knew it was a bad idea from the start “
on the back?

I am not talking about truly grieving and mourning the loss
of long term or profound love.  I am
attempting to re-direct those who are capable of mourning as a technique for
stalling.  Well, you can’t have
that.  To find love in a year, you have
to just move on along.

Date dress all the
time –  It’s a good way to get dates
and you never know when you might meet one. 
No one thinks a mate will be date dressing all the time they are
together or even wants it. But everyone believes they are worth having their
love make effort to attract and beguile them. 
This doesn’t take much : clean body and hair, some attempt at color
coordination, and mostly non-synthetic fabrics are good starts.

Attitude really is everything.  Visualize success in love and raise your
personal happiness level and you are a giant step ahead.  I have seen a lot of people overcome every
imaginable barrier because they were determined.  Think of Olympic athletes.  Are they waiting to go on thinking “ this may
not turn out well and I’m not in the mood “ ? 
Your attitude towards dating is your job, your show.  Think like a winner.

A recent study overturned what was formerly believed to be
the p

Best predictor of success – intelligence.  The new best predictor: the need for
cognition.  You are more likely to be
successful if you crave knowledge. 
Applied to love, need for cognition means learns how to better at
loving, reading books and articles, going to articles and seminars, listening
to happily married couples, communicating, dating, and never stop honing your
skills.

Embrace these 5
basics and then just have fun.  This isn’t funereal attendance.  Approach each
date (and every time you are with a prospective or current love) as exciting
potential.  Make every effort to enjoy,
relax, and bring out the best in both of you.

Janet Blair Page, PhD, author of Get Married This Year: 365 Days to “I Do”, {Adams Media). is a relationship expert with more than thirty years of experience in private practice in New York and Atlanta. She taught at Emory University for twenty-two years and has been featured in the New York Times, Glamour Magazine,, and U.S. News and World Report and on CNN, HLN, FOX, Good Morning America, and The Early Show. For more information please visit:www.drjanetpaqe.com

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