How do you find a new relationship or that one true love? Whether you’ve been single for years or are only recently on the market, seeking out a compatible partner is not always easy.

This may surprise you, but when it comes to finding love, gay guys have a tendency to look in the wrong place. When it comes to love, you need to be able to stand on your own two feet. Stop expecting people to deliver “love” to you on a silver platter. You need to go out there and find it on your own terms. Expecting your friends to constantly set you up or expecting a friend to be your wing man, is clearly not working for you. Below are effective tips for seeking great relationships and finding your true love:

1. Meet as many potential dates as you can.

One of the best ways to learn how to find love entirely on your own is to join dating sites and dating apps. There are plenty of quality dating sites and dating apps available. They are free and fun to use and you will have the choice of gay guys from all over the country. You can also limit your searches to guys with similar habits as you such as drinkers or non-drinkers, smokers or non-smokers. You will be totally in control!

2. Start with a clean slate.

In order to find love again, you need to emotionally separate or detach from previous or past relationships. Remaining emotionally attached to the past prevents you from being fully present — and trusting someone else — and keeps you trapped in a cycle of negativity. Everyone has emotional baggage. The key is to make sure that your baggage isn’t too heavy.

3. Boost your confidence.

Call it self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth or whatever you like. It’s about having a strong sense of belief – that you’ve got something to offer another person. Without self-confidence, you can’t be in a true relationship. Some guys may like you – but won’t see a potential partner if you seem unsure of yourself.

4. Don’t waste money on dead-end dates.

The gay dating game can be expensive: You don’t want to be eating out in restaurants every single weekend just so you can see whether a potential date is a dreamboat or a disaster. And that means it’s important to weed out the unsuitable guys before you actually spend money on spending time with them.

5. Know your true value.

The greatest love you could ever invest in, is the love that you have for yourself. This isn’t about spending money on your physical appearance or becoming arrogant and self- absorbed, but rather knowing your true value and living your life in accordance to what you are deserving of. The way in which we let people treat us is usually a reflection of how we see and values ourselves, and so often to others (not necessarily ourselves) it becomes quite evident of how much self- love we really have. Once you know your worth you’ll stop giving discounts and start to feel whole and happy even as a singleton.

6. Learn the difference between compromising and settling.

Love isn’t meant to be second rate and hence why you shouldn’t have to settle for second best. We tend to get confused or complacent after a few bad relationships, heartache or years of waiting, and so we forget out value and what we are deserving of. On the opposite hand, when your expectations are so high that you can forget to be flexible and compromise in a healthy way. Know the difference, know your worth and then you will find the balance that you are after.

7. Know when to chase and when to wait.

We live in a fast pace society and often become impatient when things don’t come in our timing. It’s hard to wait for the real thing when we have access to so many other second rate options along the way (although at the time, we don’t see them as second rate, but rather an answer to a need we have). Chasing men will get you nowhere, chasing dreams on the other hand will see to it that you live in your potential and are filled with purpose. By all means we need to still initiate things with potential partners (unless we want to die alone with 42 cats) but we also need to know where boundaries need to be set. Sometimes when you put down the good, it’s because you are meant to pick up the great, so don’t be afraid to wait a little.



It’s not easy navigating the gay dating game, but knowing a bit about yourself and what you want can help you make good choices. Good luck!


Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
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