Is a Good Personality Enough to Go On a Second Date?

Written by JosephJanuary 15, 2015

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Personality is essential if you want to get ahead at basically anything in life. Whether it’s business, romance, personal, or practical, we soon discover success is about the impressions we make, but more so how we make the people around us feel. Dating in the gay community is tough. We’re prone to judge at first sight rather than […]

Personality is essential if you want to get ahead at basically anything in life. Whether it’s business, romance, personal, or practical, we soon discover success is about the impressions we make, but more so how we make the people around us feel.

Dating in the gay community is tough. We’re prone to judge at first sight rather than embrace the time of getting to know each other on a deeper level. With so much body worship happening around us, finding a man who looks at me (not my waistline) is like finding a needle in a haystack. But even if a guy shows his best side on a first date, is that really enough to want more?
Let me break it down for you. A great personality says nothing about character – that’s right, I said it. How many arrogant assholes have you met with a charming personality? How many selfish pricks have you come in contact with whose strategy is to lure you in with his boyish charm? Tell me about it. A man’s character speaks a thousand words while his personality speaks very few because it’s the side of him he wants you to see.
The emphasis of focusing on a man’s personality alone will do you no good. Yes, you may have the best time laughing at silly things, you might bring out each others sensitive side in a way you find erotic, you might even go together like pees and carrots, but if you aren’t seeing eye to eye in regards to goals, morals, and life skills, chances are it’s never going to work. Is it worth a second date to test the waters? You be the judge.
He might be the nicest, funniest, friendliest, thoughtful person in the planet, but if he doesn’t possess practical life skills, the chances of him finding a life partner are slim. When I say life skills, I’m talking about actual skill sets a man needs to function as a proper adult in society. A relationship isn’t only about enjoying each others company, you know; it’s about functioning as a unit with as little friction as possible. He might have made you laugh on the first date, but what are his goals in life beyond that one night? Does he plan on leaving the city any time? Is he totally broke with no hopes of receiving income any time soon? Was he inappropriate at times in a way that made you feel weird or uncomfortable? Is he genuinely interesting or were you just distracted by the one good joke he made over appetizers?
Ask yourself this question: What is he bringing to the table in contrast to you? If his personality is the only thing going for him, don’t let that become louder than your intuition. How did he make you feel? Listening to your gut in these situations is the only way you will be able to make a proper decision for your well-being. Our intuition is the command center of all things. Never ignore what it’s trying to say.
Not every guy is going to have the same standards in regards to what life skills actually mean. Some consider education level, demographics, political party, religion, etc., while you might set your standards a bit lower – and that’s fine. But if you ask me, a good personality is merely a cherry on top of an already put together man. If the package isn’t wrapped up right for you, focusing on the pretty little bow is a waste of time.

While a great personality seemingly says a lot, in the long run it says very little about who he is as a man and what he has to offer you. I say if you’re still confused, go on a second date and see for yourself! But remember to look pass the outer layer of what he’s trying to impress you with. The first date was to feel each others chemistry; now that you have that, the second date should be the time to ask questions.




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