How to Approach a First Date
Written by Joseph • July 2, 2014
Every couple, regardless of sexual orientation, is terrified and nervous before a first date. Your stomach’s in knots, your heart is beating a steady tattoo against your ribs, you can feel the bile rising in your throat; we’ve all been there. You found someone you actually want to meet in person, and now that the […]
Every couple, regardless of sexual orientation, is terrified
and nervous before a first date. Your stomach’s in knots, your heart is beating
a steady tattoo against your ribs, you can feel the bile rising in your throat;
we’ve all been there. You found someone you actually want to meet in person,
and now that the date is so close, you’re probably getting cold feet and
considering canceling. Don’t. It’s scary but it may be worth all the silent
anguish if the guy turns out to be perfect. Our dating experts have put
together a few pointers to help you have a great first date:
and nervous before a first date. Your stomach’s in knots, your heart is beating
a steady tattoo against your ribs, you can feel the bile rising in your throat;
we’ve all been there. You found someone you actually want to meet in person,
and now that the date is so close, you’re probably getting cold feet and
considering canceling. Don’t. It’s scary but it may be worth all the silent
anguish if the guy turns out to be perfect. Our dating experts have put
together a few pointers to help you have a great first date:
Be Open
The popular advice “be yourself,” is popular for a reason.
It may be clichéd, but you are not. Too many people feel the need to impress
and go about exaggerating their manners of speech and actions, or may say
they’re doctors when they’ve only taken high school biology. If something
happens, like a rogue British accent escapes your mouth, laugh about it and
just tell them you’re nervous. It can be quite endearing, not to mention
flattering. Be open and honest, and just be you. Remember that this is his
first date with you too, and he’s probably just as nervous. As long as you stay
true to yourself, everything should go smoothly.
It may be clichéd, but you are not. Too many people feel the need to impress
and go about exaggerating their manners of speech and actions, or may say
they’re doctors when they’ve only taken high school biology. If something
happens, like a rogue British accent escapes your mouth, laugh about it and
just tell them you’re nervous. It can be quite endearing, not to mention
flattering. Be open and honest, and just be you. Remember that this is his
first date with you too, and he’s probably just as nervous. As long as you stay
true to yourself, everything should go smoothly.
Read the Situation
If you find yourself starting all the conversation, you may
have an introvert on your hands. Introverts like to socialize, but too much can
be overwhelming, so if you keep on chattering away trying to fill in any
silence, you may be scaring the poor guy. If you feel that the opposite is
happening, and he’s the one doing all the talking, maybe try to pitch in and
add your two cents to the conversation. However, as long as the silences aren’t
awkward, it’s not a bad thing to just sit together without saying anything.
Always read the situation, and keep things comfortable without forcing any
awkwardness between the two of you.
have an introvert on your hands. Introverts like to socialize, but too much can
be overwhelming, so if you keep on chattering away trying to fill in any
silence, you may be scaring the poor guy. If you feel that the opposite is
happening, and he’s the one doing all the talking, maybe try to pitch in and
add your two cents to the conversation. However, as long as the silences aren’t
awkward, it’s not a bad thing to just sit together without saying anything.
Always read the situation, and keep things comfortable without forcing any
awkwardness between the two of you.
Keep it Light
Some people want to know more about their date, so they ask
them questions, which is a great idea; until it starts to feel like an
interrogation. Ask questions but keep them light, just conversation starters;
for instance, if you know that he is a teacher, ask about what it’s like to
stand in front of a classroom and if his students are good kids, and what the
subject material is like. Don’t ask how much he makes, or what his family
situation is, or how many exes he has. He’ll divulge that information himself,
slowly over the course of the next few dates. If you can sense that your date
likes to ask personal questions, then tell him whatever you’re comfortable with
but hold back on the stuff you don’t want to share yet.
them questions, which is a great idea; until it starts to feel like an
interrogation. Ask questions but keep them light, just conversation starters;
for instance, if you know that he is a teacher, ask about what it’s like to
stand in front of a classroom and if his students are good kids, and what the
subject material is like. Don’t ask how much he makes, or what his family
situation is, or how many exes he has. He’ll divulge that information himself,
slowly over the course of the next few dates. If you can sense that your date
likes to ask personal questions, then tell him whatever you’re comfortable with
but hold back on the stuff you don’t want to share yet.
Meeting someone should be easy, and natural, so remember not
to force anything. Hang out, and just get to know more about the guy, and he’ll
do the same with you; you don’t need to start rating him for marriageability.
As long as you breathe, relax, and take it easy, things should go well enough
to warrant a second date.
to force anything. Hang out, and just get to know more about the guy, and he’ll
do the same with you; you don’t need to start rating him for marriageability.
As long as you breathe, relax, and take it easy, things should go well enough
to warrant a second date.
