Remember a time when you couldn’t keep your hands off your partner? One look, one touch, and you’d spend all day glowing in what felt like an all-consuming passion. You were hot. You were interested. You seemed to have endless energy and time for romance and sex.
But, now that you’ve been together awhile, things have changed. Losing the spark in a long-term gay relationship is often inevitable. Come see some ways to keep the romance alive:
Spend time alone.
It may sound counter-intuitive but that time spent without your partner is key to making it last. To stay together, you must be apart sometimes.
Show your love in small ways.
Try this. Leave a love note on their pillow, briefcase or book they’re reading. Bring home a special treat you know your partner will love. Text, call or email them to say, “I’m thinking of you.” Write a list of all the reasons you love and appreciate them and whisper each one into their ear. Sometimes it’s the little gestures that make the biggest impression.
Institute one phone-free hour every day.
You already know the world won’t end if you don’t check your phone for an hour, so why not use that to your advantage? Human beings managed to survive and feel connected for hundreds of thousands of years, but we’ve only had cell phones for a few decades! Think of when you and your partner usually feel most distracted by technology, like in the morning during breakfast or at night before bed. Agree to ditch your phones for a portion of that time each day so technology doesn’t get in the way of maximizing your affection.
Put date nights on the calendar.
Between work meetings and family events, schedules can get so busy that you forget to make time for your partner. Scheduling date nights as you would other appointments will remind you to have a night out with your partner. Date nights give you time to re-connect and to have fun with one another. Whether it’s a fancy restaurant or a quick dinner and movie, having a good time together should be your biggest goal. It’s kind of like hitting the reset button on your relationship.
Create a non-judgmental environment to express what you want.
Your partner should be comfortable sharing some pretty sticky topics with you. Create an environment where each partner always feels they can express their desires, whatever they may be. Perhaps the other partner isn’t willing to fulfill that desire, but is willing to listen, and perhaps find an alternative that both are comfortable with.
Communicate clearly, honestly and frequently.
Talking to each other is one the main tools we use to connect with each other. When we extend ourselves and let our partner know who we are, what we need and how we feel, we open the doors to greater intimacy. Take at least 30 minutes and put out your ‘do not disturb sign’ to the world.
Ask your partner what he needs from you. Take turns. You get out of your relationship what you invest into it. When you make daily love “deposits” of attention, appreciation and affection into your relationship account, you’ll be able to maintain a healthy and sexy love “balance”.
Do you have other ideas on how to keep the romance alive when you’re exhausted? Please share what has worked for you!