Everyone is a product of his or her childhood. As for most of the people my age, I grew up watching Disney movies. It wasn’t the catchy tunes or intriguing story plots that interested me most. It was the romance – always interfered by some kind of conflict. At the end, someone is rescued; and at the end, I always felt like I deserved to be rescued.
There is a Disney complex that has existed for many years in the gay community. When it comes to love and romance, we tend to take on the role of a Disney Princess: we daydream, we sing, we float, we’re down to earth and confident, and we hope that the combination of such attributes will create a magnetic pull from all the single men around us. If we send our positive vibrations out in the universe, there’s no doubt that at one point or another, a compatible man will answer the call. One day, our prince will come. Never do we realize that everyone else is under the same spell, but if everyone is waiting to be rescued, who, then, will do the rescuing?
I’ve met countless of gay men with a Disney complex. While most of them remain optimistic about their love lives, there is a recurring theme that plagues them: Why isn’t he calling me back? Did he blow me off? I give so much to this relationship and he’s giving me nothing in return. Why do I always attract the same kind of guy? Here’s the deal. When you’re sitting around waiting to be “rescued,” you’re eventually going to bite the first man who makes an effort to catch you, whether he’s good or bad. Instead of living our lives like a Disney movie, we ought to be listening to what the universe is telling us and march to the beat of our own drums.
Life is one long movie and we, ourselves, are the writer, director, actor, and editor. When we give other men the responsibility of pursuing us, we are left with virtually no duties to speak of. Being left with all the responsibility of chasing someone is going to eventually tire your feet out. There comes a time when the “chaser” needs to stop waiting for any old prince to arrive and start being proactive about the people he lets in his life, and even more so, seek them out.
There’s nothing wrong with being optimistic; we all could use a little more of that in this world. But there’s a difference between smart optimism and careless optimism. The smart kind is rooted with lessons – he’s been down a certain path before and knows where it goes, still, he’s optimistic that he’ll arrive on the other side much stronger. The careless kind is too loose and too naive – he expects everything to happen to him without any effort or work and often asks too much from people without giving anything in return, expecting them to go with his flow.
I’m beginning to notice that gay guys in general are slowly beginning to lose hope in love. They claim they’ve been around the block and know (not think, but know) that no good guys exist anymore; they’re doomed to roam the earth forever alone. Life as it turns out, isn’t a Disney movie, therefore, it’s not worth living.
Life is no bowl of cherries – if you haven’t figured it out, it’s about time you get with the program. Things happen to us that aren’t planned, and that’s okay! Change your mindset, turn it into something positive and you’ll soon see the benefits. No one can live your life except you, so don’t give up on anything because it didn’t arrive as expected. This is what living is all about. You can’t recreate a Disney moment because it already happened, on film. Make your own story and stop waiting for someone else to complete it.
Look at it this way. Fish are supposed to be caught; when a fisherman sits there waiting for a fish to jump onto his lap, he’s going to be waiting an awfully long time. For all the single gay guys out there, if you want something to happen (I mean really, really happen), go out there and make it. Stop waiting in your tower looking out in the horizon hoping to see your prince. The world doesn’t work like that. There are princes everywhere if you open your eyes, and guess what, we’re all waiting to be rescued.
Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
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