There’s lots of advice out there when it comes to having a successful date, but your follow up can be equally important when it comes to hooking that hottie for another romantic round. Your actions in the days that follow a first date will say a lot about the type of person you are and will let your guy know if you’ve got the potential to be a great partner—or if you’re just another player.
Pacing yourself is essential when you’re getting to know someone. Appearing overly eager and always available can really be a turn off for some people. However, following ridiculous rules and timelines laid out in the latest romantic comedy won’t make you any more desirable. Adhering to the outline of a chick-flick isn’t a way to play it cool—it just makes you look uninterested and pretentious. Absurdities such as, “waiting three days to call” or refusing to follow up because it’s “his turn” to contact you could derail the good thing you have going.
“I once had an awesome first date with a guy I met at the gym,” says Sef from New York. “I called him the next day and left a voicemail telling him I’d like to see him again, but I didn’t hear back until three days later when he sent me a text message asking if we could make plans for another date. In the time it took him to reply to my initial call, I ended up going out with someone else who followed up with me right away. I totally lost interest in the guy that was more concerned with playing the waiting game than making a second date. And that guy who followed up with me? He’s been my boyfriend for the past two years.”
Sef’s story is a clear case of the negative impact playing games can have on your dating life. Waiting a predetermined number of days to follow up with your date isn’t proper post-date etiquette. In fact, it’s downright rude. If you had a good time, let him know by following up with a phone call and asking him out again. Don’t stalk him with multiple voice mail messages, just make one simple, thoughtful call. He’ll appreciate it, and you’ll get the chance to show him you aren’t afraid to communicate with your voice—a skill that seems to be dwindling these days.
This brings up another point: Avoid solely communicating through email or text message. While they can be great ways of keeping a dialogue going, it’s important to include a phone call as well. It’s more personal and sends him the signal that you enjoy speaking with him, not just to him.
Of course we have rules in place to help guide us on our journey to romantic bliss. However, it’s worth taking the time to separate the helpful from the hurtful. Not all of those so-called “rules” are going to help you grab the guy of your dreams. A thoughtful follow up will only improve upon that great first impression and keep him coming back for more.
Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?