Ex with Benefits: Bad Idea or Harmless Fun?
Written by Joseph • September 3, 2015
Running into your ex is common in the LGBT community, especially when you’re in a gay neighborhood. At the gym, in the bar, or on the streets, we’re bound to run into an old fling at some point or other. Sure it might be a bit awkward, but what happens when the sexual feelings come […]
Running into your ex is common in the LGBT community, especially when you’re in a gay neighborhood. At the gym, in the bar, or on the streets, we’re bound to run into an old fling at some point or other. Sure it might be a bit awkward, but what happens when the sexual feelings come back? Is it a smart idea to follow through with it, or should you leave the past in the past?
Depending on how the relationship ended determines a lot of how it will survive afterwards. I’m still friends with a few of my exes, but most of them are long gone. I have to admit, if one of them called me up and offered either to take me out for a drink or take me to bed, I might just go for the latter. But despite how great the sex may be, I will eventually have to face reality. What happens when the sex ends?
It’s hard to truly get over a breakup, especially if it was a long term relationship. It’s more than just the intimacy and sex. It’s the memories, the Christmases, the birthdays, the trips, and everything else you did together. To have sex would be like going back in time and reliving all those feelings you’ve tried desperately to subdue. However, if you’re both in agreement that it’s only about sex, is it possible for your ex to turn into a Friend with Benefits?
Let’s say enough time passes for the healing process to be over. You’ve officially moved on and you’re able to cope with each others presence without running away crying in the bathroom. Surely this would make it okay, right? The truth is it doesn’t matter how much you’re over him. It doesn’t matter how easily you’re able to stay detached emotionally. Once you’re with each other, everything will become familiar again. And it’s this familiarity that messes us up.
I’ve known plenty of gay men who have turned their exes into F**k buddies, and they’re fine with it. For some reason it doesn’t seem to bother them nor their exes. In fact when they mention it, they laugh. Whether it’s due to maturity or a strategic agreement they’ve set, they’ve managed to keep their “new” relationship purely sexual. But no matter how much they appear to be okay with it, it’s clear that the conscious effort of keeping emotions at bay is easier said than done.
Ex sex is different from makeup sex. Sure it might be tempting to take out all of your feelings on your ex to show him how much he’s hurt you (or vice-versa), but at the end of the day, the only thing you’re damaging is your heart. Nothing is worse than false hope, and if there are any leftover feelings you have for him, sex will cause you to over-analyze. Though for some people it may work out, for most gay men it will always lead to regret.
Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!
Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!
Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101
Tweet us: twitter.com/GayDating101
