Growing up gay, we didn’t receive any socialization on certain rites of passage when it comes to love and relationships.
The only dating template we had to go on was the male-female variety.
While dating and romance can take on similar qualities as our straight counterparts’, there are also some very real differences.
With two men, who holds the door open? Who pays for the first date? Who does what? There are no clear, designated roles to follow like straight relationships have.
While we are fortunate to not be bound to certain “rules” when it comes to dating, at the same time, it can be confusing on how to navigate through various interpersonal situations.
It also becomes challenging in trying to determine if the guy you’re seeing is a “keeper” or not based on the blurred roles.
What follows are five qualities of gay men that could be considered “a good catch” in helping you to assess whether he’s got the goods!
1. Chivalry should not be dead, even in gay relationships!
One of the classiest things another man can do for us is to be considerate and thoughtful.
In male-male dating situations, why don’t both men open the car door for each other, allow the other to walk through a door first or alternate paying the tab?
There is nothing feminine about being courted in this fashion, as I’ve heard some say before.
If nothing else, it shows this man is courteous and thinks your special to be doting on you. Lap it up!
2. He treats people with dignity and respect.
As you go out and about on your various dates, observe his body language with other people.
Is he personable and conversational with others? How does he treat the waiter at the restaurant? How does he treat retail staff who make a mistake on his purchase?
His behavior in these random scenarios can give you a host of information about his character, not to mention how he might treat you later on down the road.
“If this guy knows he has a lot to offer
another man and a relationship, snag him!”
3. He keeps family & friends close.
As you’re getting to know him better, listen carefully to his stories about his relationships with family and friends.
Are they close or disengaged? If they’re close, is it a healthy close or too enmeshed? Does he have friends?
These could be potential indicators of his ability to manage relationships successfully.
4. He’s grown from past loves lost.
When you begin to learn about his dating history, listen for the reasons behind the relationships ending to see if there are any patterns.
Remember, whether he’s the one who was left or if he was the dumper, it takes two to tango and we all play a role in the direction of our relationships.
What has he done to remedy his part in this trend?
5. He knows he’s a good catch!
If this guy you’re seeing seems to display good self-esteem, a solid value system (and acts in accordance with it) and knows he has a lot to offer and contribute to another man and a relationship, snag him!
This is oftentimes detected in the way he carries himself in that he’s assertive, confident and unapologetic for being who he is. This, taken to an extreme, is considered narcissism, so beware of these personality types.
But if he knows he has a good head on his shoulders, is truly ready for a relationship and just wants someone to experience life with, he’s a keeper.
These are only five qualities out of a plethora of them. And remember, these are qualities to strive for in yourself, too!
What are some other qualities and ingredients you look for in a guy that you would classify as “good catch” material? Do share!
Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
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