If you’ve been asking yourself, “Will I find love?,” know that it’s a normal question, especially if you feel a lack of affection or companionship in your life.
Learning how to find unconditional love, however, is not so simple. There are many factors to consider before welcoming a new partner or lover into your life.
Love is everywhere, if you’re open to it.
If you want to know how to find unconditional love in the New Year, here are 7 steps you need to proactively consider.
The first step to a healthy relationship is knowing and accepting who you are as a person. Valuing yourself is a quality that will attract positive people to you.
Think about your likes and dislikes, lifestyle, attitudes on various issues, your aspirations, and goals in life. These considerations will help you discover the type of person you want in your life.
Seeking a partner who shares your beliefs and core values is helpful, because you will be able to bond with someone who has a common perspective.
If you’re negative and closed-minded, it’s more difficult to find a partner or create an interest in you.
STOP BASING YOUR STANDARDS ON MOVIES OR NOVELS.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but true love in real life is not as overwhelming as when a rich guy falls in love with commoner just like in the movies or novels. Real persons in the real world are less grand than main characters in fiction. Therefore, you should stop setting standards that are too good to be true.
LOVE REQUIRES YOU TO REVEAL YOUR TRUE SELF TO ANOTHER.
The famous author, C. S. Lewis, puts it best, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one.” Lewis is right. What makes love so hard, and sometimes painful, is the vulnerability that always seems to accompany it.
PRIORITIZE FINDING LOVE.
Do you spend hours binge-watching your favorite shows, Facebooking, e-mailing, texting, surfing, or shopping on Amazon because you have nothing better to do to fill your quarantine time? Are you busy drinking and eating a bit too much or playing your digital game? Are you better at planning your next binge-watch fest on Netflix than planning your dating life?
How about making a decision to change that in 2021? One single, real decision to put your love life first and foremost will change everything. One sincere decision will make it happen for you! Study after study has shown that relationships are treasured above all else when we think about what has meant the most in our lives. So make finding love in 2021 a top priority.
WORK YOUR DIGITAL DATING PROGRAM.
Throw out your old photo and profile. Have a friend who is a good photographer, make that a great photographer, take 100 head shots of you in order to get one that looks especially warm, attractive and inviting. Get some friends to help you pick out the best photo and work on your profile. Ask them what they love about you and be sure to include all of that great stuff in your new profile! Sign up in a gay dating site like Gay Dating Solutions and take advantage of their free 6-month membership.
Dating is a numbers game. After you post your photo and new profile, spend at least three hours a week looking around digitally, sending and responding to messages and ultimately connecting by Zoom, Facetime, phone and (safely) in person with people. Block out time in your daily calendar to work the program.
SETTING YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
If you want to find love in 2021, you must realize that if love doesn’t come to you exactly when you want it, the world is not over.
It’s not a good idea to settle for the first person who shows an interest in you if they’re not truly a good fit. You should feel attracted to your love interest, but don’t be fooled by shiny distractions if you get signs that they’re not genuine.
You may think that it’s “love” when, in fact, it’s just a fleeting infatuation fueled by the need for companionship and attention. It’s important to watch out for red flags and not ignore them if they appear.
Understanding that your partner will ultimately be someone who gets you — and you them — is the real magic you seek when looking for love.
The outer shell is not as important as the inner person who resides in it. It’s the greatest expectation of all.
BE SURE YOU’RE HAPPY PRIOR TO ANY RELATIONSHIP.
Don’t look for a relationship that will make you happy. You will fail. Happiness is a personal mindset.
Make sure you are happy before getting into a relationship. Your happiness will draw other happy people to you. That will increase your chances of entering into a happy relationship.
“True Love” is more than just a song by the Brit band Coldplay. As the Garter Brides say: “It’s never too late to find true love.”
Follow your heart. Forget the past and look to the future. Finally, remember that while having the love of your life would be wonderful, you need to know that even alone you are enough.
Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?
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