What rates highest in a long-term relationship? Passion is important, certainly, but intimacy rates highest.
Intimacy is the key to a happy and healthy long term relationship. Relationship intimacy requires a strong physical and emotional connection. When a relationship lacks intimacy, it can be difficult to maintain. If a level of connection is lacking, it can lead to feelings of loneliness and resentment. When you feel emotionally intimate with your partner, it increases your overall well-being.
For some, intimacy is that sense of being “home” in the presence of your mate. Or it may be an increased sense of relaxed pleasure when you see your loved one’s face after an absence.
If you notice the intimate connection with your partner isn’t what you want it to be, read on for 7 ways to increase the level of intimacy in your relationship.
Make sure to have joyful time together.
The ability to laugh with one another is a true sign of vitality in a relationship. It’s important to be able to share in and experience joy together. A sense of humor helps smooth the waters when our interactions become stormy. Being able to laugh at our shortcomings and at our partner’s idiosyncrasies can steer us away from unwarranted dramas and keep our relationship alive.
Seek out new experiences.
Intimacy isn’t just about a physical connection. It’s also about closeness, familiarity. With that in mind, one of the best ways to improve intimacy with your partner is to revel in new experiences. For example, you could embark on a major project together like renovating or flipping a house. Or, you might consider adding a new member to your family and adopt a dog! If you aren’t ready for such commitments, you could book a trip to an unfamiliar country and explore its depths together. These experiences are designed to challenge you—they’ll force you two to work closely together, and maybe even argue or despise each other along the way, all while ultimately solidifying your bond further and improving intimacy in your relationship.
Try a little more touching.
Touch is an essential part of bonding in a relationship; it invites intimacy through physical connection. But touching your other half doesn’t have to be reserved for between the sheets. Massage is the perfect way to create intimacy outside the bedroom. Through massage, you can learn so much about your partner. Be mindful; observe their body and how they respond to your touch. It also helps you to really connect, as both partners are engaged and focused on the moment they’re spending together.
A big hug and kiss hello, holding hands while you’re out and about… affection outside of the bedroom actually makes a massive difference.
Relish in your comfort and connection.
When we first start dating someone, everything is new and exciting. We experience intense emotions as we get to know the individual and become intimate with each other. Over time, though, this novelty and excitement lessens. While this can be disappointing, there is a flip side: the connection is deeper than ever before, signified by the comfort you feel in each other’s company. So, you can improve your intimacy with your partner by thinking back to the initial stages of your relationship, appreciating its development, and relishing in just how comfortable you feel with your partner.
Shake up the routine.
On the other hand, it’s also helpful to switch up your routine every now and then to induce those intense emotions again. Go out of your way to do the unexpected and surprise your boyfriend. For example, book a weekend getaway and have everything ready to go—book the hotel, pack the bags, fill the car up with gas. You can also change up your routine and improve intimacy by spending a little time apart. There’s nothing wrong with taking separate trips every now and then. This will give you the chance to miss each other and you’ll feel happy and excited when you’re reunited.
Discover everyday intimacy.
Between work and family duties, you may feel that your packed schedules make fitting in quality time with your partner near impossible. Stop giving in to that mindset; instead, it’s important to carve out moments of intimacy in the mundane. The ongoing commitment in a relationship is to constantly reassure and remind the other person they matter to you.
It is important to do some ‘reconnection rituals’. This could involve cooking dinner, doing chores together, or cuddling in bed with a hot drink before going to sleep. Reconnection rituals remind you both, ‘I am safe, this person is my safe space’. It’s in that place of safety that intimacy can grow.
Remember to be generous.
Being generous involves being giving of yourself, but it also means being accepting of what’s given to you. Be sure to show appreciation, even when gifts and acknowledgment are hard for you to receive. When it comes to the natural give and take in a relationship, it’s important not to keep score. Being generous will make you feel warmly toward your partner and good about yourself, two elements that keep the spark alive.
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